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Writing 101: Post 2 – A room with a view…

My room with a view...

My room with a view…

The second assignment:  Today’s Prompt: If you could zoom through space in the speed of light, what place would you go to right now?

The Twist:  organize your post around the description of a setting.

My place is the beach. The place I head to when I need to unwind or relax…

I make my way to the loopy downhill path that leads to the beach and head down, thinking it will be tiring walking uphill on my way back.  I noticed all the greenery around me which is made up of branches, trees, shrubs, leaves. I noticed that someone has made a man-made bridge but there is no water.  The path is covered with sand and I hear the crunch as I step on it.  I get to the beach and remove my shoes and socks and glance around to see if it is busy.  The beach is fairly quiet for the most part.  I see an elderly couple walking hand in hand, a young guy running with his dog , a mother walking with her kids, and me. I am certain that in a few hours the beach will be busier, but I will enjoy the  quietness of it in the meantime.  I make my way towards the water.  As I glance to the right,  I noticed that someone had a bonfire last night because I see logs that are still smoldering and some are charred and chairs surrounding the fire.  The sand feels gritty as I walk on it and I find myself stepping on rocks and seashells. I think to myself why did I not keep my shoes on and wonder why the sand does not feel like silk underneath my feet.   As I walk, I notice that I am feeling giddy because I am one step closer to the water, my outlet.  Finally, I am close enough to the water that I roll up my sweats and make my way into the water.  I keep thinking how far to wade in before I freak out.  (I can’t swim and am deathly afraid of drowning but absolutely love the water).  I walk a bit further, letting the waves crash against my legs. The water is cold and I debate on walking back to the sandy area, but the feeling of the water crashing against my legs and the sand giving out underneath my feet is a great.  I look around and notice that a few more people have showed up.  I venture out of the water and sit on the sand and stare out at the ocean.  The water goes for miles and miles and I keep staring. The sky is cloudy and I wonder if it will rain or maybe it will clear up in a few hours and the sun will shine.  I sit and think about nothing and I feel the tears forming in my eyes, as I have finally achieved a sense of peace.

I am not sure if I achieved what the assignment was requesting.  This was definitely a challenge for me.

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6 thoughts on “Writing 101: Post 2 – A room with a view…

  1. This was such a nice read! I really enjoyed this, and it was very personal and inviting into your world. You described things very nicely, and I could imagine the atmosphere perfectly. You should keep it up!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nice post!

    It’s definitely noticeable that it was a challenge for you, but you did your best and did a good job in the end.

    Here are some tips to improve your posts:
    – Write small paragraphs, do not hesitate to separate sentences into small groups. No one likes to read a huge block, it’s tiring.
    – You used the present tense for almost all your verbs, but you used the past tense for ‘notice’ most of the time. Be careful about that switch, it can annoy some people. Here, you could have used the present tense for ‘notice’.
    – You used the word ‘notice’ too many times, was it on purpose? if yes, what was the effect supposed to be? If no, vary your vocabulary, use synonyms.
    – You used too much ‘I’. When you write a sentence, look at what you want to emphasize and turn it into the subject, it makes a bigger impact on the reader.

    Keep up with the good work!

    Like

  3. The beach is such a lovely place to get away, especially if it’s quiet! Your description of the crunch of sand and the quiet waves took me back to my childhood beach days! Lovely!

    Like

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